1. Write a song as incredibly catchy as “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” by the Spin Doctors.

2. Make a CD as unabashedly fun as “Cosmic Thing” by the B-52’s. No, really, go give it a listen. Clearly, my opinion on this issue is biased because I listened to it a lot as a kid, but it is very solid. See: campy, 80’s, and electronic. No low points besides maybe “Channel Z” or “Follow Your Bliss.” Songs so fun you don’t notice they’re all 5 minutes long. Relaxed grooves like “Dry Country” and “Topaz” surrounding hits “Roam” and, of course, “Love Shack”. It’s a good disc.

3. Keep a straight face while singing a line like “Let’s go behind this wall of vegetation/ I don’t want no prying eyes when I give you a love sensation” in a voice like that of Fred Schneider of the B-52’s in said CD.

-Dan
whose blog has been relegated to quick 5-minute blurbs because he doesn’t take his computer home very much.