Feels valuable to have a “snapshot of life” every so often. I guess some people do this with photos or videos, but I like words. This is mostly about parenting.

N just turned 2. We spent a few days with each family; mostly overwhelming, though we are lucky to have families that love him (and us) so much.

We’ve broken the streak of “every month is easier than the last.” I don’t know if it’s the Terrible Twos or Teething or Oh My God I Just Acquired Consciousness And Now I’m Mad All The Time. (Don’t worry, bud, I’m told that only lasts 60 years or so.) But with this induction into dual awareness, this Will Smith “Welcome to Earth” punch in the face, has come regular demonic possession.

This means that every time we try to change his direction even a tiny bit from what he was trying to do, he’ll fight us, and at least once a day it’ll turn into full-on The Exorcist screaming and wailing and flailing. Again, sorry bud; you will get better at this with time. We hit a new record of 5x yesterday; only one so far today, but the day is young. We had to set up the old pack-and-play crib so he has a safe place to fizzle out again on the first floor because we need it so often.

Food is still a toss up; often he’ll refuse everything, sometimes he’ll eat everything, who knows. He likes running around and climbing, usually, which is harder in the winter. Still in diapers; I guess this is the year for potty training, but I don’t know how to do that and I’m not looking forward to it. He can say a lot of words and often short sentences, like “open the door” or “I’m sleeping”.

His nanny has been helpful, and we plan to start him at day care in the fall. Not looking forward to the ensuing localized epidemic, but inshallah, we’re getting some of it over with. We each got “walking pneumonia” in November and have been on and off sick ever since. There’s circles of hell here, and we’ve mostly stayed in the outer ones (one parent healthy, or a grandparent around to help), but the inner circles (two parents sick, someone gotta take care of energetic kid, and it’s winter) are just a skip away.

Oh, and he mostly doesn’t like me. Loves other family members; loves his mom. He’s ok if Mama’s not home and he’s stuck with me for a while, but if we’re both home he cries every time she leaves a room. Yesterday after his nap, I’d go check on him every 15 minutes and he kept saying “seeyoulater! seeyoulater!” and getting agitated until I left; I assume he was hoping that if I leave maybe Mama will come in the door next? shrug I hear this is typical too, and I’m not taking it personally.

What about the rest of my life? Well, I make time to do puzzles once a week, and the rest is work (not doing awesome at it, but hopefully treading water successfully) and maintenance (exercise, ~therapy, doctor appointments). We’re watching a good TV series called Dark (2017). It’s got time travel; otherwise don’t read too much about it beforehand. Still a lot of Slay the Spire; my free time is so sporadic (e.g. while I’m waiting for him to stop telling me “seeyoulater”) so phone games allow me 10min at a time, and it’s still the best phone game.

most positive take

I wonder why it feels important to me to make these snapshots on bad days. Given my last post about noticing the positive, how else could I put this?

I’m managing! I’m juggling all the demands of baby and job, and have time for fun too. T and I feel good together usually, I can still do puzzles and in fact am going to Mystery Hunt next week. I’m improving at my job, our house is nice and cozy, I can grow plants, I keep developing new reliable recipes, I’m reading good books, and I’m still fit as hell. Hell, I’m almost never in pain, which is a miracle itself.

(I didn’t feel terribly fake writing that last paragraph. Hmm. On the other hand, a cup of coffee just hit my bloodstream, and stimulants are a reliable mood booster for me.)